我承认刚开始，我没有意识到他是在请我做伴郎，后来当我明白了。我向他表示我很荣幸也很惊喜。但是我承诺会竭尽全力完成任务。这项任务对我来说比之前遇到的更具挑战更艰难。另外，非常感谢他对我的信任。在某种程度上，我几乎被感动了。

　　I’m afraid John, I can’t congratulate you. All emotions and in particular love, stand opposed to the pure, cold reason I hold above all things. A wedding is, in my considered opinion, nothing short of a celebration of all that is false and specious and irrational and sentimental in this ailing and morally compromised world. Today we honor the deathwatchbeetle that is the doom of our society and in time one feels certain our entire species. But anyway, let’s talk about John.

　　恐怕我不能恭喜你，约翰。所有的情感，尤其是爱，与纯粹冷静的理智相违背。而我认为这种理智高于一切。在我的信念中，婚礼简直就是为了庆祝这个病态的道德败坏的世界中一切虚伪、华而不实、荒谬、感伤的东西。今天我们是在庆祝宣告死亡的蛀虫，它注定了我们社会的消亡。也注定了整个人类的灭亡。但是，我们还是谈谈约翰吧。

　　If I burden myself with a little helpmate during my adventures, this is not out of sentiment or caprice, it is that he has many fine qualities of his own, that he has overlooked in his obsession with me. Indeed, any reputation I have for mental acuity and sharpness comes in turn, From the extraordinary contrast John so selflessly provides. It is a fact, I believe, that brides tend to favor exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day. There is a certain analogy there, I feel, and contrast is, after all, God’s own plan to enhance the beauty of his creation. Or it would be if God were not a ludicrous fantasy designed to provide a career opportunity for the family idiot.